I get by with a little help from my friends...

So, since I've received the news. I decided that I needed a few days away from my friends. I love my friends but sometimes their helpfulness and what they think will help are actually not helping at all. Sometimes you need to be away from them to simply get your head around things before you bring other people into it.

So this weekend was suppose to be a busy weekend for me. I was suppose to go to a group event the day we found out. I promptly dropped out giving just the bare details and they told me they were there for me when I was ready and let it be. I was also suppose to hang with another friend, whose heart is in the right place, but shes just been through a miscarriage and I think were both still trying to find our footing around each other again (we both have our sensitive moments to stuff and we're both still feeling things out around each other, its a first for both of us). I cancelled plans with her after giving her some of the details and she told me she was there if I needed it.

Which takes me to tonight. Three of my friends are celebrating their birthdays within a 48 hour period and they are all mutual friends so they wanted to celebrate together. There would be drinking and bars. I didn't really want to go, because prior to this new knowledge, I had cut myself of alcohol, most caffiene and cigarettes in hopes that this would help us conceive (well it couldn't hurt, could it?). On top of that, I was also invited to the UFC fight at our mentor couples house. I told everyone not to expect me. I didn't want to get their hopes up cause really, I'm just not in a partying mood. What actually happened? I went to watch the fight and left their early to go and at least say happy birthday to my girls. Which lead me to going to a bar with them, sober on my part, and staying out til 3.

I was scared of the emotions that come with seeing good friends who feel your pain. I didn't want to see that look on their face. You know that look. The "I love you and want to fix this but I don't know how so I'll just look at you like this" look. They started but when I told them not to, they didn't. They hugged me, a couple of tears fell and then we moved on. No one talked about, no one made me feel different. They just caught me up on what I missed so far in the evening. At one point my friend made reference to going home and getting sex from her husband. She looked at me and said, |that didn't bug you did it?" everyone stopped what they were doing, looked at me worried and then I laughed at responded "hunny, I'm having trouble conceiving naturally, I have no trouble getting laid." Everyone promptly burst into laughter and I felt a bit lighter.

My lesson for tonight:

Sometimes friends don't know what to say when bad news strikes. But if they really care about you, they will find a way to make it easier on you. They will help carry that load as much as they can, just so you don't have to bear it alone. And sometimes, this happens in the strangest of ways. Just don't turn your back on it or them.

And like the Beatles said:
"I get by with a little help from my friends..."

Love and Hugs,
K